Since both Charlie and I were feeling a bit congested and lethargic this morning, we called off our plans to return some jeans and start birthday shopping for Daddy. But by 10:30 we were both stir crazy, so I decided we'd do a bit of yard work -- just scoop the yard, pull a few weeds, etc -- figuring it would be a nice surprise for Jason.
It's a gorgeous day, so while I was enjoying the sun and Charlie was coating himself in mud we pulled all the weeds from the flower beds and were just finishing up trimming the bushes when Charlie saw a snake!
I am absolutely petrified of snakes. I realize it is irrational, but I believe that they are truly evil and their only purpose is to hunt people down and bite them. I used to have nightmares about snakes, I cannot even watch them on TV...and there was a snake about 3 feet from me.
I threw a couple things at it and it didn't move, so despite the fact that Charlie said he'd seen his tongue flicker, I was sure it was dead.
I hurriedly finished trimming the bushes, and we had just started the clean up process when Corrisa, Reid and Tanner walked by. Thrilled to have someone share in our terror, we quickly brought Corrisa to the side of the house to see the snake. He had only been about 6 inches long, so we looked closely...and realized he was gone!
The little monster had been playing dead. Ready to run for cover, I looked down and saw the creature right next to Charlie's feet. Both Corrisa and I screamed, Charlie ran around to the backyard, and I tried to regain control of myself.
While I would have preferred nothing more than running inside to hide, I realized that as a mom I had no choice. While Corrisa kept an eye on the snake from a safe distance, I went to garage for a weapon.
Armed with a sharp shovel, I returned to seek my vengeance. I tried to use the edge to sever the creature in two, but the ground was too soft, so I just proceeded to smack him over and over again with sides and edges until he stopped moving.
Thankfully, Charlie had stayed in the back and did not witness the massacre. Corrisa wisely suggested that I leave the shovel beside the ghastly little corpse, so Jason could properly dispose of it later.
Soon she left to put the boys down to nap, and Charlie and I got back to work finishing up the yard. My pulse was still racing, but I felt a small glow of pride, realizing I had successfully defended myself, my son and my good friend from certain evil.
Finished with everything other than scooping the yard, I realized that I needed to go get the shovel. Ready to tell the story, as well, I decided to take a picture of the evil serpent to better convey the horror of the experience.
Creeping around the side of the house with my camera, I realized that I didn't remember where in relation to the shovel the snake had been. I searched either side and beneath it only to realize -- it was gone again! The horrible little monster wasn't dead, but is at this very moment slithering around my home while Charlie and I barricade ourselves inside.
Needless to say, the yard did not get scooped and unfortunately for Jason, I will likely never, ever do yardwork again.
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