Long overdue...

Below is a letter that I had planned to email to my dad, but as I was writing it, I decided to share it.  It's no secret that my Dad and I look at life differently and have butted heads in the past, but I want everyone to know that I am extremely blessed to have an earthly father full of strength, conviction and love.

Dear Dad,

First, I love you.  I know that I don't say that enough.

Second, I'm sorry that it's taken these current trials for me to realize just how negligent I have been when it comes to expressing my love and appreciation for you.

Now, I'm not going to completely rewrite history and pretend that it's always been easy -- after all, I do get my strong will and short temper from you (your mustache did used to be red...).  And we have annoyed, frustrated and hurt each other over the years --  sometimes accidentally and sometimes intentionally, but it is very important to me that you know that you are a wonderful dad.

Neither of us is extremely comfortable with emotional situations , and I am pretty sure I inherited my discomfort with sympathy from you...but I do know that our love for one another is incredibly strong, and if being a mom has taught me nothing else,  you love me even more than I love you -- that's what being a parent is.

So...right now I just want to thank you for a few of the memories that I treasure...

• Not letting me stick my tongue out at Mom
• Taking me along on the inaugural ride through the All Seasons tunnel in the little red pick-up
•  Taking me to the Girl Scout square dances complete with KFC boxed dinners
• Putting Angie and me in those crazy rodeo commercials (Ridin', ropin', wranglin', horsin' and clownin' around!)
• Letting me quit work at the carwash to babysit when you saw how miserable I was
• Allowing mom and me to abandon you for church every Sunday morning, your only day off
• Buying mom 2 convertibles in a row, so that I could eventually inherit each of them
• Sending me roses and tulips for various events and non-events in my life
• Challenging me when I wanted to volunteer at the Bible Study on Armor Rd -- making me even more certain in my conviction
• Supporting my decision to go to William Jewell, but raising me to figure it all out myself
• Calling Ralph Brant to help me get my college job
• Driving up to Liberty in a snow storm when I broke the key off in the ignition of my car
• Coming to the Beth Haven Christmas dinner in 1995
• Driving up to Kansas City from El Paso out of the blue and surprising me in the Vance parking lot the weekend my car wouldn't run for some reason or another
• Surprising me with the money to pay for lasik on my "other eye" when I had only been able to save up enough for one
• Loving Jason from the first moment you met him (even if it did sometimes seem like you were more excited to see him than me...)
• Thinking Jason was crazy for waiting almost 3 years to propose
• Taking me to pick out the perfect necklace for my wedding
• Listening as I compared Charlie to various fruits and vegetables throughout my pregnancy -- and enjoying it
• Driving to Summerville with Grandma's dining room set and piano, so I could have memories of her in my home
• Quitting smoking
• Calling me "Muffin" for 35 years

But mostly, thank you for believing that I am intelligent, hard-working, beautiful and strong.  Your confidence in me helped me to find those very qualities within myself and become the woman, wife, mother and daughter that I am today.

I am counting on you to help me do the very same thing for Charlie, that he may grow up knowing and loving you as much as I do.
 

Love,
Jenny