In the beginning I think it was easier and more natural for Charlie and I to bond than it was for him and Jason. This isn't a criticism, but an observation of the impact that 9 months in-utero, an abundance of hormones and feedings every 2 hours had on us. All of those things made my role as "mom" very clear, and created an instant bond. Jason has obviously loved Charlie since before he was born, but I believe that being relegated to observer for the first 9 months and for many activities after Charlie arrived made his role a bit more uncertain. After all, why should we both get up in the middle of the night when I'm the one with the milk, and how much input did he have in Charlie's routine when I was home 5 days a week for the first 3 months and he only got to be home 2?
Everything is changing now, though. It's so much fun to watch Jason rush into Charlie's room at 6:30 in the morning, because he wants to see that first grin, or to hear him tell Charlie he'd rather not go out in the evening, because he wants to stay home and play. And absolutely nothing compares to seeing Charlie's whole face light up when Jason comes in the door at night, or having him reach out and rest his hand on Jason's shoulder during church.
Watching them together, I finally understand exactly what it feels like to "beam" -- to have your heart so full that your chest swells and to smile so much that your cheeks ache. I've always been a sucker for romance, but I have to say that the past few weeks have given me a new undertanding of what a "love story" can be.
