Confirmed Bachelor

While eating macaroni and cheese and gazing longingly at the toothpick he was just told to remove from his mouth...

Charlie: When I grow up I'm not going to have a wife.
Mommy: Why?
Charlie: That way I can use a toothpick while I eat.
Mommy: Oh, so you're not going to have a wife so you don't have to have good manners?
Charlie: Well, that will be good manners for myself.

Guess I don't have to worry about the daughter-in-law thing anymore...