Can't Win For Losing

In previous blogs I have gone on at length about Charlie's addiction to candy.  If the child ever sees Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, he'll be on the first plane to London, just in case it really exists -- he's an addict.

Of course, I'm not necessarily helping matters when I give him tootsie rolls for good behavior or just because he's cute or just to make him smile or just because I want one...yes, I know this, and I'm working on it, but like any 12 step program, it takes time.

Anyway, due to mom's bad example, in our house the word "surprise" is synonomous for "candy".  As in:
Mommy:  "I have a surprise for you!"
Charlie: "Canny!!!"
or
Daddy: "Surprise, I'm home early!"
Charlie: "Where my canny???"

Lately I've been attempting to increase Charlie's understanding of the word beyond sugar -- I mean imagine what will happen if Charlie's wife throws him a surprise 40th birthday party, and when everyone yells "Surprise!" he gets angry because there are no tootsie rolls... (and yes, I have started preparing myself for "the wife" now, because I know it will be difficult for me to concede my roll as the most important woman in his life...)

Anway, yesterday I had the perfect opportunity to expand his horizons.  Before picking Charlie up from school, I had to use my Kohl's cash (yeah!), and after picking out some new bath rugs that actually have non-stick on the back (you're welcome, House Guests), I had a few dollars left over and saw an adorable yellow t-shirt with a "tractor" (aka bull dozer) on the front -- and between my 30% of coupon (double yeah!) and remaining Kohl's cash it was practically free. 

Basking in the pride of a successful hunt, I picked up Charlie from school and waited patiently while he climbed into the Yukon (such an independent little monster!).  As soon as he was safely in the backseat, he turned to me and said, "I want a surprise." 

Based on his recent obsession with all types of heavy equipment, I thought this would be a great opportunity to show him that surprises don't have to be edible, so I told him that I had bought him something and once he was buckled he could have it.  So Charlie scrambled into his carseat, and I rooted through the bag for the t-shirt, holding it up proudly when I heard the click. 

He just stared at it and said,  "I don't like it.  I want canny!"

I was shocked.  I pointed out the tractor.  I pointed out the fact that it was bright yellow.  I grinned stubbornly. 

His response?  "I don't like it.  I want canny!" 

So I asked him, "Charlie, if you don't like the shirt, do you want me to give it to someone else who will like it?"

"Yes.  Give it someone else.  I want canny."

On the bright side, tootsie rolls are much cheaper than t-shirts and bikes and video games and cars...

A little bit of heaven...

P.S.  Assuming wrappers can't spontaneously reproduce, it took me 6 tootsies to write this post...