January 16, 2009

Time is alternately going too fast and too slow.  In some ways I can't believe it's mid-January and you are due 2 months from tomorrow -- though I still think you'll be here on the 12th or 13th.  In other ways 2 months seems like far too long to wait.

Tonight Daddy and I are going to Babies R Us to buy your carseat and stroller and stock up on diapers and wipes.  They're having a sale.  I guess it's really a sign of our new priorities that we're going to spend a Friday night shopping for diapers.  :o)

I have to admit that I'm starting to get nervous as the time gets nearer.  Everyone tells us that the first few weeks are overwhelming.  Daddy and I will be exhausted. 

I need to start reading all my books about you once you're here.  You'll find that I am always much more confident about any decision/situation if I've done research.  Daddy laughs at me, but he's really the same way.  We will definitely do our best and I'm sure we'll eventually get the hang of it -- hopefully before you go to college...

34 weeks

January 4, 2009

We survived the Christmas trip to Kansas City.  Trips home are usually hectic, but lots of fun. 

This year's trip had more than its fair share of hectic -- Daddy and BaBa were both sick much of the week, Daddy was supposed to be working on the computers at the plant, and I scheduled lunches, breakfasts, coffes, etc with lots of friends.  It all worked out, but it was a relief to get hom on Monday.

Unfortunately, I seem to have come down with Daddy's cold/flu, but at least it waited until the weekend.  I've done very little yesterday and today, but hope to be back to myself tomorrow for work.

There really isn't much else going on.  We have your next doctor's appointment on Thursday.  I should get the results of the glucose test (which I'm sure went fine), but otherwise it should be pretty standard.

Aunt Chrissy is starting to plan your Charleston shower.  It should be fun -- primarily neighbors.  Otherwise we're just relaxing and waiting for you to get here -- just 2 1/2 months to go!

December 21, 2008

Yesterday was your baby shower -- the first of many celebrations in your honor.  I hope you are better with these types of events than I am.  Don't get me wrong, I had a wonderful time and feel very blessed to have so many people care, but I always feel very awkward as the center of attention.  In general, I'm more comfortable at events focused on someone other than me.  You should grow up with a lot more opportunities to get used to being the guest of honor, though, so hopefully you'll be more at ease.

Despite my nerves, the shower was wonderful.  BaBa, Nanie and Aunt Shery hosted it and some of my best friends (Emily), Daddy's distant relatives (Patty, Connie, the Aunts) and even my Aunt Jan, Mindy and Melanie were able to come.

We had a delicious brunch and everyone gave us gifts to help us prepare for you.  Everyone is excited to meet you and have you in the family.  When we travel back to Kansas City you are going to be surrounded by so many friends and relatives.  I hope you love it!

December 14, 2008

We're on your first trip to Canada.  We met Grandma up here two days ago, and over the past 48 hours Daddy has met and started to get to know all of Mommy's aunts, uncles and cousins on Grandma's side.

We came up here for your Great-grandma's memorial service which was yesterday.  Originally we planned to come primarily for moral support for Grandma, but it has really turned into a wonderful trip for Daddy and Mommy.  It's been about negative 20 to 30 degrees Celsius while we've been here, but that hasn't done anything to dampen anyone's spirits.

When I was a kid we didn't make it up here very often.  In fact, this is only my fourth trip up in my life, and my last trip was 13 1/2 years ago, when your Great-grandpa passed away.  So, in fact, I'm getting the chance to meet and get to know lots of new people, too.  Since that last trip, all of my cousins have fallen in love and most have gotten married and had kids of their own.  Yesterday at the service, there were ten kids under the age of 6 or so!  It was so much fun.

I'm hopeful that Daddy and I will be able to prioritze trips up here very 2 to 3 years (most likely in the summer) so you can meet and know this part of your family.  They will remind you a lot of Daddy's side of the family with their closeness and love of fun.  The tentative goal is to come back in the summer of 2010 for a big family reunion.  You'll be less than 18 months, but maybe we'll make it back when you're 4 or so, and 7 and so on... There is no doubt in my mind that you would love it, so we'll see what we can do.

November 25, 2008

Today was one of the scariest days of my life.  This morning your Daddy had his thyroid removed, because it was having to work too hard to produce the hormones it produces.  The surgery went perfectly and he is resting well, but it was scary knowing he was in there.

BaBa, Aunt Ashley and I are spending the day here at the hospital.  Right now Daddy is pretty medicated and resting comfortably.  I just hope the comfort level stays pretty high even as the medication wears off.  He gets to go home tomorrow, and then we both have the rest of the week off for him to recover. 

One of the ver first things he did when he wok up was reach for me and tap you in my belly.

November 11, 2008

We had your 22 week appointment yesterday.  It is always so much fun to hear your heartbeat.  yesterday it was 156 and very strong.  Grandma is in town, so she was able to come along and hear it too. 

She is here because your cousin, Camden, was born on Friday.  You and he will be very close in age which should be a lot of fun.

Grandpa gets in tomorrow night.  Right now they live in Texas, but they hope to move this direction sometime in the next few years.

My work travel has slowed way down compared to the last few weeks, but we'll be going to Canada in December and possibly North Carolina.  Then we get to go to Kansas City for Christmas and have your first baby shower. 

Your aunts Tara & Erin, great-aunt Shery and Nanie are throwing it for you -- just the first of many, many celebrations in your honor.  You'll soon learn that your mommy loves birthdays and holidays.  I just love to celebrate the blessings in our lives.

October 29, 2008

We are on your first trip to Florida.  It's just the two of us though, since it's a business trip.  Last week we were in PA & NJ and next week we spend two days in Columbia and a night in Greenwood.  This should be the end of our business travel, though.

Daddy is going to KC the weekend of the 6th and we are going up to Calgary on December 12 -- but that should be it.  Thank goodness.

The three of us will all go to KC for Christmas, and then Daddy is hoping to go to Daytona in February...but just for a long weekend.  After that trip, we'll just settle in and wait for you to arrive!

Next Wednesday Grandma is coming to Charleston for your new cousin's birth.  She'll be in town for ten days, and Grandpa will arrive a week later and stay for the weekend.  They are extremely excited to meet you.

Daddy is hoping to get your nursery painted and crib put together before they arrive.  It's all so exciting, but don't worry, I promise life will slow way down when you are born to give you time to get acclimated to us and us time to enjoy you and get to know you.  As of yesterday you are 20 weeks -- we're half way there!!!

20 weeks

Love it!

We're ready!

October 16, 2008

Last night a contractor who was doing door-to-door marketing in Bedford, PA for me passed away.  His wife called to tell me this morning.  It was shocking.

Bill had called me on Tuesday and told me he was going to the hospital for 4 to 5 days, but that he would be back next week.  In fact, I was supposed to meet him in person for the first time next Thursday when I'm in Pennsylvania.  We've been working together for about 3 months but had never met in person.

Life is truly a wonderful blessing, but it's hard, sometimes very hard.  I spent the rest of the morning calling and emailing people to let them know Bill is gone.  I hope that's something you don't have to do very often.  It's terribly hard to be the one to break the news that will break someone's heart.

I believe that the important thing is to remember that despite the fact that life isn't fair, that hearts break and some questions are never satisfactorily answered, everything does happen according to God's plan.  And His plan is perfect.  We may not understand it and at times we may hate it, but it is perfect.  If you hold onto that you can survive anything -- even breaking people's hearts.

October 15, 2008

As you'll surely realize early on, I'm a planner.  Sometimes my planning spills over into worrying, but I try hard to prevent this.  Nevertheless, it does happen.

My latest worry is about 13-20 years away -- your teenage years.  Being a teenager is a crazy phase.  You gain your independence, start to recognize your own wants, needs and desires apart from your friends and family, and you're faced with some of the biggest challenges and decisions of your entire life.

Daddy loved his teenage years, but I struggled.  In retrospect, we were both blessed with good parents, consistent teaching and an understanding of right and wrong, so neither of us made any mistakes that could prevent us from following our dreams -- but we're both lucky to have had things turn out as well as they did.

I hope that we are able to help you understand and value right and wrong, to believe in yourself and your instincts in the face of hard decisions, and to trust us enough to turn to us for help, guidance, forgiveness and love.

I hope that you follow in your Daddy's footsteps in that you survive adolescence having enjoyed yourself, not having been to jail, rehab or an extended hospital stay, and still having all of your dreams open to you.

I know that the foundation of this will be your understanding of God and His plan for your life, our ability to raise you within a strict but loving home and your complete confidence in our love for you.  I will continue to pray for the parenting skills necessary to make this all happen, and Daddy and I promise to do our best.

October 15, 2008

I am feeling so much better.  I have my energy back and I rarely feel any nausea at all.  It's wonderful.

Plus, I'm really starting "to show."  I've been gaining weight pretty steadily, but now it's really showing in my belly which is fun.

Your Aunt Erin loaned me all sorts of maternity clothes when we were in KC -- so many that I may not have to buy any more!

As for you, according to the books you are about the size of an avocado and you're getting toenails and your scalp pattern is developing.  Plus, you're heart is pumping 25 quarts of blood each day.  It is all so exciting.

Daddy and I get to see you this Thursday.  We go in for our ultrasound.  We're not planning to find out whether you are a boy or girl.  As you'll find out, I love suprises and we're both pretty traditional.

I can't decide if I think you're a boy or a girl.  I'm craving protein which some say means you're a boy, but I'm gaining weight like you're a girl -- more evenly throughout my body. 

It's crazy, but while this is definitely the most obvious "unknown" about you, it's really just the tip of the iceberg.  There are so incredibly many characteristics about you that are already formed.  We are so excited to meet you!

16 weeks

October 10, 2008

Yesterday was your ultrasound.  Daddy and I managed to contain our curiosity, and we didn't find out if you're a boy or girl.  We would both just really like for it to be a surprise -- and based ont he way your legs were crossed, you agree.

Of course, later in the procedure the tech was showing us your legs, and I didn't see anything to make me think you're a boy, so I'm leaning towards girl.

We did get to see your heart and stomach and kidneys and brain and spine and 10 fingers -- you were alternately waving and shaking your fist at us...I hope that's not a sign of things to come!

The tech also moved up your due date based on your size (7 oz.)  Now you're due on March 17 -- St. Patrick's Day.  Daddy is thrilled.  I just hope you don't take your Irish heritage too seriously.

The whole experience was wonderful.  We were so excited to see you and see that you are growing and developing so well.  Only five more months until we get to meet you!

September 25, 2008

Daddy and I are on our way to Kansas City to see his side of the family.  We'll also see Uncle Jim, Matt, Emily & Tom, and I'll see some of my girlfriends.

Daddy will leave Monday morning to go home, but I'll stay until Tuesday night to work.  I'm actually having a "pre-interview" on Monday for a new job in my company that looks like it would require a lot less travel.  My goal is to travel four or fewer times per year once you get here -- and ideally those trips would be to KC and you could come with me.

I'm trying to just relax and be patient, though.  As you'll soon learn, worrying is a completely wasted activity, plus it's not good for you if I worry.  Plus, everything always owrks out better than I could have ever dreamed.

Your Daddy and I lead an extremely blessed life and we are grateful for you everyday.

September 18, 2008

It's been quite a while since I've written to you.  It's not that I haven't been thinking of you -- the opposite in fact. 

In the midst of some local business travel, a trip to Atlanta to see cousin Mikey and a week long visit by Aunt Ashley and Uncle Stephen, we've started checking out daycares, told my work and decided on your nursery furniture.  All the while you've been growing by leaps and bounds. 

We heard your heartbeat last Friday.  It was so exciting to know you're doing well.  Tomorrow you will be 14 weeks.  You are about the size of my fist and you are getting hair -- brown or red I wonder?

We've also been telling all of our friends.  Everyone is extremely happy for us and excited to meet you.

Also, Mommy isn't feeling so tired or nauseated as I was for a while, which is making Daddy's life a lot better!  I am rapidly expanding though -- just not all in my stomach due to yoru healthy appetitie.  So far you love chicken nuggets, cheerios, salads and fig newtons.  You're not very interested in sweets, which is keeping us both healthier.

12 weeks

August 27, 2008

Baby, I have to tell you that I'm sorry and disappointed in myself and in Daddy.  We had wonderful intentions when we first got married.  We lived off Daddy's paycheck and banked mine, but this didn't last very long.  We gradually started to spend more on vacations, the truck, dinners, etc and to save less for you.

I wish I could say we saved reliably until we'd given up hope of you, but we didn't.  Then we moved to Charleston and bought a house that we definitely can't afford on one paycheck.  We told ourselves that we bought it because it was large enough for a family to grow, but we really just loved it.  The result of all of this materialism is that I am going to have to work and send you to daycare.

I'm hoping to find another job from home that requires minimal travel, so that at least we'll have some flexibility.  I know that God will work everything out, but I also know that Daddy and I have to accept the outcome of our lifestyle.  I'm hopeful that we'll get much better, start to save, and learn to live on less so that I can quit when the boat is paid off, but until then, I'm sorry. 

I'm sorry for the cold you'll get, for surrounding you with strangers and for the regiment we'll force on you so young.  I'm sorry for not planning better.

August 26, 2008

Today is the day I'm going to tell my boss about you.  He and I have struggled to communicate since I took this job in April of last year. 

He's a very unusual man.  I have no idea how he'll respond.  Ideally he'll be supportive and help me find a new position that requires much less travel than my current job.  I'm not convinced that will happen though.

Bottom line: I cannot travel beyond SC after the new year.  I cannot travel beyond Charleston after February 1.  I will not continue to be gone 8 plus times per year for three to four days each after you're born.  We'll see how it goes...

August 25, 2008

Otis.  By the time you read this you are going to know and love Otis well.  Nevertheless, right now Daddy and I are somewhat concerned about how Otis is going to take it when you are born.

For the past 3 1/2 years Otis has been our baby.  We never had any intention of getting a dog, and I'm actually allergic to dogs and cats, but the night we walked into a petstore back in KC in late 2004, it was love at first sight.

Daddy and I have been through and done so much, and through it all Otis has been a constant source of love and companionship for us.  I call him my little angel.

Now, I know that Otis will grow to love and adore you, but I'm not sure how long it will take.  I imagine the first few days/weeks of your life will be a challenge for him, but eventually I'm sure you will be the very best of friends.

August 18, 2008

I'm currently sitting in the airport waiting to fly to Pennsylvania to be present when my company president visits.  I have no real purpose at the meetings other than to represent Business Markets. 

In another week or so I'm going to tell my boss about you and let him know that I won't be available to travel after the new year.  Since my current job requires so much travel, I'm hoping to find something else that requires none. 

Ideally I'll find another job based at home that might even allow me to work just three days a week.  I definitely don't want you in full-time daycare.

I had hoped to quit altogether, but Daddy and I want to send you to Pinewood since the Knightsville school has had some issues.  Plus, I still want Daddy to follow his fishing dream.

I've been praying about it a lot and I know everything will work out.  You are our top priority.

August 17, 2008

So, you may be wondering how it feels to be pregnant with you.  Well, it's definitely like nothing I've ever experienced before in my life. 

Emotionally and mentally it's exciting, scary, fascinating and incredibly fulfilling.  In some ways I feel like this is the primary reason I was put on this earth and that I'm finally reaching my potential.  In other ways I'm absolutely terrified that you won't be happy or healthy or that we won't get along or that Daddy and I aren't up for the challenge. 

I know without a doubt that God wouldn't provide us any challenges in life that we can't overcome with His strength and that our overwhelming love for you will make us even better parents, but it's still scary.

As for physical symptoms:

• Week 5: Exhaustion started to strike and sore breasts
• Week 6: Positive test and disbelief, still tired
• Week 7: Nausea off & on and cravings for water, peanut butter and protein, still tired
• Week 8: Nausea gre worse, but still not sick
• Week 9: Noticing weight gain, starting to react to smells, particularly sweet or floral. Still tired and nauseated.

I truly have no idea what to expect next!!

August 13, 2008

Daddy bought your crib bedding today.  Yes, it's a little bit ahead of schedule, but you'll come to learn that's very like me.  Since we're not finding out your sex, I've been looking at all of the "neutral" options and haven't found much that didn't seem too bright, too busy, too cute or too cheesy.

I found a solid green, ultra-soft set online, and when Daddy and I took our first trip to Babies R Us it was on clearance for half off!  So even though it's early, we decided to go for it.  I hope you like it!

August 12, 2008

We wonder so much who you'll be!  The summer Olympics are on, and it has opened my mind to all the opportunities and choices ahead of you.  It's exciting and kind of intimidating.

Daddy and I want so badly to set you up to confidently make strong, well thought-out, hopeful decisions.  That's a pretty big task.

We just want so badly for you to be happy and healthy -- I promise we'll try to remember that when the time comes for you to make decisions on your own.