I had the best intentions for today. I packed his bag and picked out his clothes last night (an appropriately patriotic jumpsuit for Flag Day), and Daddy gave him a bath before he went to bed by 8:00. Everything was on track for a relaxed, optimistic, exciting first day of school.
I didn't account for the fact that both Jason and I would start coming down with a sore throat/cold, something would wake me up at 3:00 and 5:00, at which times I would come up with all sorts of crazy fears about Charlie having to go to daycare, that it would be 82 degrees at 7:05 this morning, cutting our morning walk short and making it absolutely miserable for all three of us, or that I would manage to tweak my shoulder in bed this morning during my 5:00 worries, making it virtually impossible for me to turn my head to the right. Seriously...I guess that's why that whole adage about "the best laid plans" exists.
Despite all of that, Charlie was in a good mood this morning, looked as adorable as ever, and we buckled up and headed out right at 8:30 as planned. The folks at the daycare were wonderful. This morning we met the second director, Tracey and his two morning teachers, Joeanna and Amanda. I'd already met the other co-director, Shelley, the assistant director, Linda, and his two afternoon teachers -- though I can't remember their names to save my life.
When we arrived, his class was getting ready to go outside. Charlie had no desire to be put down in the room, but as soon as we got to the outdoor play area (which was wonderfully shaded -- had to check that concern off the list), he wiggled out of my arms and started climbing up the slide. I lingered as long as possible asking ridiculous questions and willing Joeanna to tell me to take him home, but like my fantasies on the drive over of his slot being taken by someone else, it wasn't to be.
I did consider immediately swooping him up and carting him back out to the car when I saw that today's lunch is fish sticks -- not out of some organic or nutritional concern, but I just hate fish sticks...what if he hates fish sticks? No one should be required to eat fish sticks. But knowing Charlie, he'll probably love them and the teachers and the class. I hope so... I guess.
During the 7 minute drive, I had also tried to come up with a plan for keeping Charlie home and getting my work done during his 90 minute morning nap, his 1 hour afternoon quiet time and after bedtime at 8:00. If I stay up until 2:30 in the morning, I could put in a full work day. My boss is extraordinarily understanding and accommodating, so he might actually go for it...it's my husband and my need for sleep that would cause the problems.
I genuinely do believe that Charlie is ready for this. I genuinely do believe that he'll love it. I genuinely do believe that Toy Box daycare is a wonderful place and that he'll flourish in the environment of other kids, crafts, games, etc. Despite all of that, though, I can't help but feel the stigma of having taken my 15 month old son to daycare to be cared for by strangers.
Just as powerful, but much more selfish, is my realization that one of my biggest issues with the new situation is that Charlie will be learning, doing, experiencing and laughing in a whole new world of which I play no part. For the past 15 months, Jason, Donna and I and the half acre of land between our two yards have been the center of Charlie's world. Now it is expanding beyond that. I'm not sure I'm ready.
9:32 AM: 5 hours 43 minutes to go...
Ready for School!
Morning Patrol with Otis
What do you mean I don't get to ride the bus?
