While I Wait

Patience is not my strength.  Waiting is not something I enjoy -- whether it be 3 minutes or 3 years...so how perfect that I was scheduled to lead our Ladies' Bible Study through James 5 this Monday night.  God truly has a sense of humor...

Anyway, as I was convictingly reminded, as a Christian my whole life is really nothing more than waiting for Jesus to return...but James, being so delightfully practical, doesn't just tell us to wait -- he gives us some specific instructions on what to do while we wait.  I love specific instructions!

So, for anyone else who struggles with waiting -- or really for anyone at all, since we're all actually waiting, whether we realize it or not -- here is the notes from Monday.

James 5 - While You Are Waiting

Come now, you rich, weep and howl for your miseries which are coming upon you. ² Your riches have rotted and your garments have become moth-eaten. ³ Your gold and your silver have rusted; and their rust will be a witness against you and will consume your flesh like fire. It is in the last days that you have stored up your treasure! ⁴ Behold, the pay of the laborers who mowed your fields, and which has been withheld by you, cries out against you; and the outcry of those who did the harvesting has reached the ears of the Lord of Sabaoth. ⁵ You have lived luxuriously on the earth and led a life of wanton pleasure; you have fattened your hearts in a day of slaughter. ⁶ You have condemned and put to death the righteous man; he does not resist you.

⁷ Therefore be patient, brethren, until the coming of the Lord. The farmer waits for the precious produce of the soil, being patient about it, until it gets the early and late rains. ⁸ You too be patient; strengthen your hearts, for the coming of the Lord is near. ⁹ Do not complain, brethren, against one another, so that you yourselves may not be judged; behold, the Judge is standing right at the door. ¹⁰ As an example, brethren, of suffering and patience, take the prophets who spoke in the name of the Lord. ¹¹ We count those blessed who endured. You have heard of the endurance of Job and have seen the outcome of the Lord’s dealings, that the Lord is full of compassion and is merciful.

¹² But above all, my brethren, do not swear, either by heaven or by earth or with any other oath; but your yes is to be yes, and your no, no, so that you may not fall under judgment.

¹³ Is anyone among you suffering? Then he must pray. Is anyone cheerful? He is to sing praises. ¹⁴ Is anyone among you sick? Then he must call for the elders of the church and they are to pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord; ¹⁵ and the prayer offered in faith will restore the one who is sick, and the Lord will raise him up, and if he has committed sins, they will be forgiven him. ¹⁶ Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed. The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much. ¹⁷ Elijah was a man with a nature like ours, and he prayed earnestly that it would not rain, and it did not rain on the earth for three years and six months. ¹⁸ Then he prayed again, and the sky poured rain and the earth produced its fruit.

¹⁹ My brethren, if any among you strays from the truth and one turns him back, ²⁰ let him know that he who turns a sinner from the error of his way will save his soul from death and will cover a multitude of sins.

• Thesis of the Chapter: "Life" is what believers do while we wait for the Kingdom of Heaven (James 5:7-9)
• Positive perspective of waiting (Isaiah 40:31)
• "Yet those who wait for the Lord will gain new strength; They will mount up with wings like eagles.  They will run and not get tired, They will walk and not grow weary."
• What waiting really feels like (II Corinthians 4:7-10)
• "...we are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not despairing; persectued, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying about in the body the dying of Jesus, that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body." 
• What NOT to do while you wait
• Pursue Riches ahead of Christ (5:1-6)
• Temporary (5:2)
• Can tempt us to sin (5:3a, 5)
• Can reflect wrong priorities (5:3b)
• Can lead to dishonesty (5:4)
• Can lead to unnatural death (5:6)
• Complain about each other (5:9)
• Judge (James 4:11; Matthew 7:2-6)
• "Do not speak against one another, brethren.  He who speaks against a brother, or judges his brother, speaks against the law, and judges the law; but if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law, but a judge of it."
• "For in the way you judge, you will be judged; and by your standard of measure, it will be measured to you.  And why do you look at the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?  Or how can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' and behold, the log is in your own eye?  You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye."
• What TO do while you wait
• Be patient (5:7)
• Until harvest - Jesus comes back for us
• Strengthen your heart (5:8)
• Look to the prophets as an example (5:10-11)
• Suffering & patience bring blessing
• Always Pray (5:13-18)
• Praise when times are good (5:13a)
• Pray when times are hard (5:13b)
• Pray for each other (5:14-16)
• Context "anointing him with oil" in v. 14 refers to medical care of the time
• Power of a man "with a nature like ours" prayer (5:17-18)
• Jesus' Prayer (Mark 14:34-36)
• "And He said to them, "My soul is deeply grieved to the point of death; remain here and keep watch."  And He went a little beyond them, and fell to the ground, and began to pray that if it were possible, the hour might pass Him by.  And He was saying, "Abba! Father!  All things are possible for Thee; remove this cup from Me; yet not what I will, but what Thou wilt."
• A prayer of despair "deeply grieved to the point of death" (14:34)
• An honest prayer for His own, personal desire (God knows anyway, so we might as well ask for what we truly want in our heart) (14:35-36)
• A prayer of trust in God (14:36)
• Watch out for one another (5:19-20)
• Opposite of complaining/judging (5:9) is to confess, pray and assist one another
• Mutual benefit of instructing/guiding one another (I Timothy 4:6)
• "In pointing out these things to the brethren, you will be a good servant of Christ Jesus, constanly nourished on the words of the faith and of the sound doctrine which you have been following."

Grateful

So...we're 10 days into pending doom (loss of paycheck, loss of insurance, loss of the best daycare in the world...) or pending opportunity (a world outside of telecom, more time with the monster...), depending on how you look at it.  And while I'm still confused/conflicted/concerned, more than anything I am grateful. 

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not in complete denial, but as anyone who has worked in telecom can attest, there is no "why me?" when you get laid off.  Why?  Because everyone in telecom gets laid off eventually.  So there's no reason to waste time wondering why. 

Instead, even when I'm trying to throw myself little pity parties, I've been overwhelmed with undeniable awareness of the blessings that have come from the company that just kicked me to the curb.  Here are a few (in chronological order, not order of importance)

1. They recruited a computer major from SMS to intern in the summer of 1998.
2. The brought back said computer major for the summer of 1999.
3. They gave me a temp job back in October 1999 when I had rent, a car payment, no savings and had already quit my other job.
4. They hired aforementioned computer major as a permanent employee in January 2000.
5. They (i.e. a particular Information Services manager) encouraged the regular IS Sr. Secretary's feelings that she wanted to work closer to home now that she'd had a second child and hired me full time on February 21, 2000.
6. They (i.e. the entire IS management team) encouraged me to date the computer major, now Software Engineer.
7. They hired me back to coordinate the buildout of PCS retail stores, saving me from my "dream job" in book publishing which turned out to be a nightmare.
8. They paid for me to travel the country.
9. Many of them attended my wedding to the Software Engineer on February 21, 2004.
10. They laid off the Software Engineer in 2004 (wait for the good part) forcing him to take other IT jobs where he realized that he really didn't want to be in IT for the next 40 years...eventually leading to our relocation.
11. They wooed me over to the local side, then to marketing, my apparent niche.
12. They (i.e a specific Director and Marketing Manager team) concocted a somewhat ridiculous (and expensive) plan to allow me to "transition" out of my job in KC when we relocated to SC.
13. They hired me to work from our new home in SC and gave me a company car and a raise!
14. They allowed the best manager ever to hire me as his analyst even with a new, strict "NO telecommuter" policy -- allowing me to work from home for the first 3 years of my son's life with excellent pay, ridiculous flexibility and no travel!

So, you may be asking...am I sorry to be leaving?  Surprisingly, no. 

In addition to all of the internal career opportunities afforded me by  Sprint Publishing & Advertising/Sprint PCS/Sprint/EMBARQ/CenturyLink, they also did the one and only thing that would get me out of my comfort zone and make me willing to see what else God had planned for me -- they laid me off.

Life Lesson #12,787

Do not expect a three year old to answer the tough questions for you...


Buckling into the car after school...

Mommy: Charlie, Mommy has a question for you.
Charlie: Ok!
Mommy: Buddy, do you like school?  I mean...do you like being at school or being at home better -- or some of both?
Charlie: Well, I like everything about school.
Mommy: You do?
Charlie: Yeah.  I like everything about everywhere I go and ride on toys.


Sigh...so we wait...

Conflicted

How am I doing with my imminent joblessness you may be wondering?

I have no idea what I want to do!  Clearly, I didn't expect to be in a situation to make a decision, but even after four days I'm just a mess of different questions, theories, plans and hopes.

As I see it, I have four primary options (not that I can make any of them happen on my own...so maybe it's four possible outcomes)...

1. Find another full-time telecommuting job
2. Find a full-time job in the Summerville/Charleston area
3. Find a part-time job from home and keep Charlie home
4. Forget about a "job" for the time being and spend the next couple years focussed on Charlie

The thing is, I don't know if any of the four options is even possible...

1. Is there another job out there where I can manage to exceed expectations, make a very generous salary, still make it to Ladies Bible Study on Thursdays at lunch and pick up Charlie by 4:30 every afternoon?
2. Does anything in the Lowcountry pay as well as telecom -- and if so, is that enough to make it worthwhile to tagteam daycare and still have Charlie there for 9+ hours per day?
3. Is there something out there that pays enough to contribute, but is flexible enough to manage with Charlie home without him spending hours in front of the TV each day?
4. Can Charlie and I spend 24x7 together without killing each other (as I've mentioned before, we have very similar personalities...fun, but at times a bit explosive)...and can we make ends meet on a single income (especially considering the heartbreaking reality of Zillow's estimate of our home's worth)? 

As of 1:51 PM on Tuesday, June 19, here are my tentative answers:

1. Yes and God can and will lead me right to it (or it right to me) if it's God's will for our family.
2. Probably not and no.
3. See number 1.
4. Yes...and it will take even more work and planning than 1 or 3, but with God's grace (and lots of prayer) the rewards could be infinitely greater if it's God's will for our family.

So...as of 1:58 PM on Tuesday, June 19, I am still conflicted...but maybe I should just pay attention to Charlie's Bible Verse for the week...

Trust in the Lord with all your heart.
And do not lean on your own understanding.
(Proverbs 3:5)

Suspicious Activity

It all started with me trying to teach Charlie a valuable lesson about sharing and grace.  He had been contentedly playing in his hole at the beach when a few bigger kids came and asked to play with him.  Jason, Charlie and I were thrilled.

They all played happily enough in the hole for a few minutes, but soon the big kids got bored and asked if they could play with the football and frisbees we'd brought.  Unfortunately, despite his best efforts, Charlie is no athlete yet, so he soon went back to the hole.

As we watched all of the kids play, Jason and I wondered aloud at parents bringing their children to the beach without a single beach toy...odd.  I remember my parents buying me a great big cup on our first beach trip -- nothing fancy, but we were able to make sand castles.

Anyway, as the sun grew hotter and our tummies started to rumble, Charlie started to get fussy, and Jason and I decided that it was time to leave for lunch.  I thought it would be a great idea to give the big kids one of our three frisbees to keep (Charlie gets them everytime we go to Red's with his kids' meal).  Charlie, however, did not agree.

But, you know me -- once I have an idea and am convinced it would be a good developmental lesson, there's no going back.  That is how the tantrum started.

Eventually we got Charlie up to the showers by the pier and his cries just grew louder as we tortured him by rinsing the sand from every inch of his body.  Then apparently we were completely out of line when we tried to dry him off and change him into dry clothes.  To the point that his cries went from general "Nos" and "Stop Its" to "Get your hands off me!"  That is when we started attracting attention.

First there were just the sympathetic glances from other parents, but then a middle-aged man on a bike started riding in wide circles around us.  He kept looking from Charlie to me and Jason, until he got off his bike and just stood nearby watching. 

All of a sudden it occurred to both Jason and me, he thought we were kidnapping Charlie!  It was all we could do not to fall over laughing -- despite Charlie's ongoing rant.

The crazy part is, we may have thought the same had we been watching.  I mean, where did the child learn the phrase, "Get your hands off me!" in the first place?  It sounds exactly like something I would teach him to yell at a stranger trying to grab him.

Thankfully, Charlie eventually calmed down and made it clear through his words and actions that we were, in fact, his parents, but honestly, it's amazing how someone else's perception of a situation can make you feel like you are doing something wrong.  Obviously, we were not kidnapping our own son, but both Jason and I felt somewhat like felons for a few minutes.

The rest of my birthday was much less eventful, but terribly fun.  Despite the major changes and uncertainty coming our way, I am convinced that 35 will be my best year yet!

Prayer Request

I found out this morning that my company was forced to lay off 6 people on my team and I am one of them.  My last day with my current job will be June 29.

Thankfully, God has provided well for Jason and me, and we are not in an immediate financial bind, but please pray that we will have peace and trust in God's plan and the new opportunities or lifestyle changes He has planned for us.

Come now, you who say, "Today or tomorrow, we shall go to such and such a city, and spend a year there and engage in business and make a profit."  Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow.  You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away.  Instead, you ought to say, "If the Lord wills, we shall live and also do this or that."  (James 4:12-15)

Hula Girls, KC Wolf and Snoopy...what more can you ask for?

Whew!  We've been back in Summerville for almost 60 hours and I finally feel like I'm catching my breath.

Last week was another whirlwind trip back home, and to be honest, I never feel like I do justice to our vacations on the blog -- probably because I don't.  We just manage to have far too much fun, see far too many people and hear Charlie say far too many funny things to remember them all, much less to type them all up.

Nevertheless, here are some of the Charlie's highlights:

He rode

• The moving sidewalk at Midway
• The Gator
• The pink Explorer
• A random bike-thing
• The Allen's Pontoon
• A Canoe
• A Kayak
• About 100 rides at Worlds of Fun
• PaPa's Big Boat
• About 5 rides at The Track in Branson
• Daddy's Bass Boat

He charmed

• Flight Attendants Galore
• Emma, Mallory's friend, and the only person at BaBa's house not related to him
• A group of about 8 pre-teen girls that he ran into in the parking area at the luau
• Polynesian Dancers
• Multiple Waitresses
• A random girl on her way to Myrtle Beach via Charleston

He met

• His new baby cousin, Parker
• KC Wolf
• Snoopy

He played with

• Alexis, Mallory, Ellie, Tyler, Elizabeth, Landon, Parker, Kalani, Demetrius and Hayden (his Kansas City Cousins) and their friends
• Random strangers he met in the sandbox and playhouse at the luau
• Caleb, Logan, Will and Chandley (his Lee's Summit area honorary cousins)
• Tyler, Lindsey, Brynn and Halley (his Branson area honorary cousins)
• Tom & Abby (his Kansas honorary cousins)

So in essence, Charlie came, he saw, he conquered, then he flew home to pester Louie and Otis.  Needless to say, he had the time of his life and had he any understanding of time (currently everything that happened in the past was yesterday and anything in the future needs to be "this day" or it's not important), he would be counting the days to our next visit.

Because it's a special occassion...

I think Jason and I may have been building up our trip to Kansas City a little bit too much.  Charlie walked into our room this morning and asked, "Do we go to Kansas City this morning?" 

He was brokenhearted when he heard we don't fly out until tomorrow and practically despondent when he realized he had to go to school today (apparently his sick day on Monday didn't just spoil me).

Anyway, in an effort to cheer him up, I told Charlie that if he had a good day, I would pick him up early from school and take him on a special errand.  There is a new bakery on Main Street we've been meaning to visit, and this seemed like the perfect excuse.

So we spent the ride to school reviewing the four key components to a "good day"

1. Listen
2. Obey
3. Take a good rest
4. No Time Outs

I managed to wrap up all my work by 3:30 and made a beeline for the Toy Box.   On the way there I had sweet visions of Charlie and I walking into the bakery holding hands, picking out yummy treats and then joyfully sharing them on a park bench. (Yes, I chose to ignore the facts that he refuses to hold my hand unless he's in the street, won't share and it's 90 degrees out...but I digress.)

Scanning the nap sheet as I snuck in to grab his backpack, I was overjoyed to see that he'd actually napped today (unlike yesterday), so I continued on to the playground where it took him less than 10 seconds to make it to the door once we'd made eye contact.  Apparently he remembered our deal.

En route to the car (following a nasty incident with the heavy door and his left foot), I started to tell him about my plans, and he interrupted to say, "I want a rope."

Clearly understanding my baffled look, he clarified, "Like a food rope."

Ummmm....what?

After a short discussion we determined that he wanted a Super Rope of the sort I used to beg for when I was a kid then only eat two bites of when I realized they don't taste as good as Twizzlers.

Unwilling to let go of my vision so quickly, I tried to talk him into a cookie or brownies or cupcake, but I eventually conceded.  Now I just had to track down a Super Rope.

First we tried Walgreens, where the clerks had never even heard of such a thing.  Then we tried the gas station (isn't that where we bought them 30 years ago???), and still no luck.  Thankfully, the lady there asked if we would be interested in a Nerds Rope...not quite as long, but as the name suggests, covered in Nerds. 

We walked hopefully back to the candy section and after a short study, Charlie decided that yes, the Nerds Rope would suffice.  Unprepared for such an affordable treat, we charged 90 cents on the Bass Pro card and made our way to the car.

So much for an idyllic, mother-son afternoon enjoying fancy treats.  Charlie gobbled up his rope before we got home, but made a good point passing the fire station, "I get this because it's a special occasion." 

And I suppose it is.  Isn't every good day a special occasion?  In fact, since I didn't indulge in a sugar-laden delight this afternoon, I've decided to see if Jason wants to share a bottle of wine over our spaghetti and meatballs tonight...might as well extend "the special occasion" to the rest of the family.

Sound Bites

Excerpts from a special ride to school with Daddy...

Charlie: Daddy, it makes me sad when you go on airplanes.
Daddy: Oh, Buddy.  I'll be back in just a couple days.  Why does it make you sad?
Charlie: Well...because you are my best friend...you should be at my house.

Passing the Fire Station

Charlie: Daddy, did you see that big truck?
Daddy:  I did.
Charlie: It was HUGE!
Daddy: Yes, it was.
Charlie: Did you see the little truck, Daddy?
Daddy: No, Buddy.  I didn't.
Charlie: Hmmm...  It better come back soon.


Running into the classroom

Charlie: Miss Alisha!  I'm the man of the house!

Humbled and Grateful

It started out as a bit of a joke, but the more I think about it, I'm realizing how tremendously far God has brought Jason and me over the past few years.

You see, last week Charlie's Bible verse was Psalm 40:8, "I delight to do your will, O my God; Your Law is within my heart,"  but we couldn't get him to repeat it, because he refused to say "O my God." 

We tried to explain to him that you can and should say "God" and "my God" when you are talking to Him or about Him in a loving way...but Charlie is three after all, and what's more, he has a bit of his mother's tendency to look at things as either black or white...no shades of gray.  Finally, I just altered the verse to be "I delight to do your will, my Lord; Your Law is within my heart," but I have to admit it felt a bit wrong (that black and white thing again).

Anyway, seeing the whole thing as a joke, I posted an update on Facebook and when I was reading a friend's response, I was brought to tears to realize where Charlie is in his understanding of God and where he could have been had God not been working so hard in Jason's and my lives.

Jason and I have both been believers for as long as we can remember, but after our wedding and a bit of a disappointment with the new pastor at my church, we had a hard time finding a church that met our needs.  And unfortunately, we let our difficulty in finding the "perfect church" more or less keep us away other than special occassions until we moved to SC. 

Then a combination of my preference for nondenominational or independent churches, our discomfort with the more "enthusiastic" atmosphere of Southern churches  (Jason and I are firmly organ/hymn people at heart), the lack of street signs in SC and our enjoyment of lazy Sunday mornings resulted in almost two years of trying churches here and there, but never committing. 

While I am sure that there are some couples who could go a few years without a solid church home, but still read their Bible's regularly, grow in their faith and develop a strong foundation of Christ-centered friends, Jason and I are not among them.  To be clear, we never abandoned our faith, but we certainly were not growing and it was evident in our attitudes, priorities and the overall level of joy in our lives.

God changed everything, though.  One Sunday morning as Jason snoozed away, Otis and I went for our regular Starbucks run and saw a sign for Grace Christian Fellowship.  The word "Grace" caught my eye, but the word "Fellowship" concerned me (organs and hymns, remember?).  Nevertheless, there was a website, so iced latte in hand, I checked out the site and told Jason, "Well, I can't find anything Biblically inaccurate about it...maybe we should check it out." 

Amazingly, despite the fact that Jason was sick with a stomach bug, I went the next Sunday morning and when I returned home he was shocked to hear me say, "I couldn't find anything wrong with it."  So the following week we went together and were relieved and delighted when Jimmy, one of the elders, seemed to understand our hesitancy to fill out a visitor card -- we were still checking them out.  In fact, almost four years later, we are very involved members of GCF, but we still haven't filled out a "Green Card."

The most perfect part is that two weeks after we first attended together, I found out that I was 6 weeks pregnant with Charlie.  Now, I just have to look around to see that church in and of itself does not bring anyone closer to God, but it is undeniable that God had a plan when he led us to a family of believers and a desire to prioritize Him, His Word and His Will for us.

Without that change of heart and mind, Jason and I would still be Christians, but would Charlie really know it?  Would we pray together as a family?  Would his favorite stories be Jonah and Noah?  Would he love to talk about the fact that God is everywhere?  Would He know that God loves him even more than Mommy and Daddy do?  Would He know that Jesus died on the cross and is alive today?

I know that we would still scold him for repeating the "O my God" that he hears in the world, but would he know or care why?

God blessed me with an incredibly obedient and loving and laughing Charlie on Mother's Day, and while he napped in the car I was overwhelmed with gratitude to realize that had God not cared enough to work on Jason and me, Charlie would be living a completely different life. 

Sure, we would have probably found a church when we decided that it was the "right thing to do."   Hopefully Charlie would one day have come to truly understand who God is and why we need to be reconciled to Him through his Son, but he deserves to know that now -- at three years old.  He deserves to grow up knowing that God is already loving him and listening to him and watching him -- and loved three year old Charlie enough to send His own Son to die so that toddler, child, teenager and adult Charlie can know Him.

Without growing parents Charlie didn't have a hope of growing in Christ until he was old enough to find Him on his own.  I am so grateful that God took Jason and me by the hand and brought us back to His path so that our Charlie didn't have to miss out.

School Talk

(Acquired from Miss Alisha's Facebook page...)


Circle Time Moments at Work...

Miss Alisha: Okay guys, let's talk about Mommies today. Who can tell me your Mommy's name?  Sully what's your mommy's name?
Sully: Ummmm......Mommy?
Miss Alisha: Yes, you call her mommy, but what's her first name?
Sully: My mommy is Courtney
Miss Alisha: Very good, Sully! Carter What's your Mommy's name?
Carter: Mommy.
Charlie: No its not!! Your mom is Mrs. Kim, and my Mommy is Mrs. Jenny!
Miss Alisha: Very good, Charlie. His Mommy's name is Mrs. Kim.
Charlie: Yea, I know.  I just went his birthday party. (said matter of factly, with the Charlie smirk)
Carter: Yea!  You did come to my party!! (nodding an smiling)
Charlie: Yea and it was pretty cool!
Carter: Thanks!!!


This conversation totally took over my circle time for like 5 minutes!!! I love these kids!!

Grandma!

Two Sundays ago at breakfast...

Charlie: Daddy!  Grandma comes today!
Mommy:  No, Baby.  Grandma comes Thursday, remember?
Charlie: But we're ready today!

And ready we were!  While Daddy was off watching cars drive in circles with his dad and uncles, Charlie and I had Grandma in town to spoil us rotten!

First, on Thursday night we took her to Mustard Seed and all indulged in "Chee" Lime Pie and Coconut cake.  Then Friday was beach day, where Grandma and Charlie made bucket after bucket of Clam Chowder while Mommy basked in the slightly overcast sun...bliss...

On Saturday we took Grandma to Bee City to visit our llama and rabbit friends, then she treated us to Duke's -- all the macaroni, pulled pork and pudding we could eat!

Saturday night Charlie had Miss Jennifer over to play and Grandma and I took a painting class at Bottles 'n Brushes.  Grandma is definitely the artist in the family...unless of course perspective is unnecessary...in that case I did ok.

Sunday was church, Five Guys, painting lessons for Charlie and proving to Grandma that Charlie's truck could go almost as fast as those NASCARs...and could even "get smoked" just like them.

We couldn't have asked for a more delightful weekend...and while we are very much looking forward to our trip to Texas in July when Daddy and Grandpa will be in on the fun, it was great to have Grandma to ourselves for a couple days!

Such a Boy!

Leaving Five Guys after Sunday lunch with Grandma.

Charlie: Mommy, what is that store?
Mommy: Buddy, that's Lowe's.  You know that.
Charlie: Mommy, have I been a good boy?
Mommy: Well, yes, Buddy.  You were a very good boy at lunch.
Charlie: Why can we not go there?

Clearly someone is missing his Daddy...

Definitely Top 3

In a family of talkers it's probably unwise to classify "favorite" conversations, but this one is no doubt in my top three -- right up there with the romantic proposal in a hot air balloon floating over Lake Winnebago in July 2003 and the one-sided assurance that yes we were in fact pregnant, and no I wasn't crazy as Jason sat in stunned silence in July of 2008.

I was sitting on the bed Sunday afternoon, when Charlie climbed up and nestled in next to me...

Charlie: Mommy, I love you.  Will you marry me?
Mommy:  Oh, Sweetie, I love you too, but I can't marry you.  I'm married to Daddy.  Someday you'll find someone wonderful to marry -- just make me two promises.
Charlie: What?
Mommy: First, make sure she loves God.  And second, make sure she is your very, very best friend in the whole world.
Charlie: You're my best friend.  Will you marry me?
Mommy: Oh Buddy, I love you so much, and trust me someday you're going to find someone that you love much, much more than you love Mommy...  (sniff...sniff)

We knew it would happen eventually...

...and today was the day.  Charlie was playing in the yard with some former neighbors back for a visit when Beaufort (Louie's best friend) took off with the jumper ball that we got Charlie for Easter.

I was lounging on the porch, enjoying the fact that Charlie had some kids to play with on a Saturday morning and didn't even consider getting up to give chase.

The next thing I knew, Blake and Charlie appeared from behind Bob & Donna's garage with Charlie soaking wet with long, green strings streaming down his sweatpants and only one fireman boot.

He fell in the pond. 

I have worried about this moment since the day I found out I was pregnant, and Charlie is expressly forbidden from going anywhere near the pond unless he is with Mommy, Daddy or Mr. Bob, and must always be able to see the back door when he's playing in the yard.

In recent months I have come to realize that the pond is only about 5" deep at the edges, but you know what they teach you about drowning in an inch of water in all those baby classes and books.

Amazingly, though, I didn't stand up shrieking, race to Charlie, scoop him up in my arms and completely embarrass him in front of Blake and Bowen.  Nor did I stand up shrieking, race to Charlie and yell at him for breaking the rules.

What did I do?

I slowly stood up, shook my head, called him up to the house, watched as he took off and poured water and seaweed out of his remaining fireman boot,  asked him what happened, reminded him he's not to go near the pond, stripped him down and brought him inside for a shower.  After which I even obliged by spiking his hair "like Blake's".

Yes, Charlie disobeyed, and yes, the pond could still be very dangerous, but it's actually kind of a relief that one of my worst fears has finally come to fruition and I realized a few things:
1 - I don't have to be 6 inches away if he's with a bigger kid who can help him when he gets in trouble.
2 - He will get into trouble and have to get out of it sometimes in his life.
3 - Sometimes an incident in itself is enough of a lesson, and punishment isn't required.
4 - Good friends stick around and are ready to play when you come back from your shower.

Out of the Mouths of Babes

Slowly I'm realizing that Charlie's words are much more interesting and telling than mine...so be prepared for more and more excerpts from our daily lives...

En route to school each morning I eat a mint to protect Charlie's teachers from my coffee breath. A few months ago, he started insisting on getting a mint, too...and somehow I introduced the idea of "Two for Tuesdays", so he gets 2 mints on Tuesday mornings...
Charlie: Can I have two more?
Me: No. It's not "Four for Tuesdays", it's "Two for Tuesdays".
Charlie: When will I get four?
Me: You won't. Four is a lot of mints. If you ate four you would get sick.
Charlie: Did Mrs. Jan eat four?
Me: No, buddy. She got sick from something else, but she's doing much better now.
Charlie: Let's say a little prayer for her.

So we did...

Charlie: Is Hayden at her house? (Jan's niece)
Me: (Laughing) No buddy. She's probably at home in Columbia.
Charlie: Oh.

Hayden from last July (the last time he saw her...)

Love this kid...

En route to lunch with Daddy on a cloudy, gloomy day...

Charlie: What is that gray thing?
Mommy:  What gray thing?  You mean the tall chimney-like thing?  It's a smokestack.
Charlie: What does it do?
Mommy: Well...you see...they are burning something in that building and just like a chimney, that tall gray thing let's out the smoke and--
Charlie: No!  It lets out the clouds!  It's a cloud-letter-out!!!


Who could argue with that??

Alive and kicking...(literally)

As a few readers may have noticed, it's been quite a while since I've posted a Charlie update.  Never fear -- he is as healthy as a horse (well...as far as we can tell, at least...we actually missed his 3 year check-up and decided to forgo it since he wasn't going to get any shots, he's roughly the height of his friends and he's clearly smarter than Jason or me.  We took all that to mean he's fine).

So why the silence?  Well, to be frank, we're in the midst of a war -- not a battle of wills this time, but a full out war.  In fact, to return to the horse metaphor, it feels like Jason and I have been charged with taking a wild horse and breaking him for show...and we are flat out exhausted.

Yes, we still adore Charlie so much it makes our hearts hurt from time to time, but his stubborn little spirit just might be the death of us.  I'm not talking about a sassy word here or there, a sprinkling of "Nos" through the week or even a random bout of tears.  I am talking about an angelic looking three year old who will burst into tears and start throwing punches at the first sign of the word "No."

In truth, Charlie has always been a bit stubborn like his Mommy and easily frustrated like his Daddy, but the past few weeks have been mentally, physically and emotionally exhausting for all three of us.

I truly believe that the root of the problem lies in a combination of the greater sense of self he seemed to develop the instant he turned three with our stricter expectations upon realizing just how much he does understand. 

That said,we know in our hearts that the only way we'll get through this is to maintain a united, consistent front, refuse to compromise on the critical issues (No back talk, No hitting,  No spitting, No bad words, Do your chores, Treat everyone with love),  pick our battles (if we're not willing to ruin the next 20 minutes for something, don't even go there) and most importantly, pray.

Still though, there has been more than one instance in which Jason and I have been ready to just give in and let Charlie be a sassy little spoiled brat.  Honestly, it would be so much easier to just let him have his way...

But relax, Mom and Dad, we haven't caved in yet and don't intend to for two primary reasons.

1. The Selfish Reason: In the event that Charlie remains an only child, Jason's and my pride couldn't handle being the parents of the stereotypical only child who treats his parents like dirt and annoys everyone else who comes in contact with him.
2. The Good Reason: If Charlie never learns to submit to authority, not only will his life be difficult, but he will struggle to ever truly put his faith in God through Jesus Christ, because if he can't accept authority, he can't accept that alone he has no hope and his only hope is in the realization that God is sovereign, Charlie is a sinner and Charlie's only hope is in accepting God's authority and trusting in His Son for salvation.

So....clearly giving up isn't an optin, and while each day is something of a minefield, we still have wonderfully fun moments together full of laughter, hugs and love.  And of course, Charlie is still the cutest, sweetest, most wonderful thing that's ever happened to us.

But please pray for me and Jason that we may maintain our high expectations of Charlie, but temper them with patience, mercy and love...after all, over dinner the other night (while trying to ignore shrieks of "I hate tomatoes!  They are disgusting!") Jason and I realized together that our own stubbornness, temper tantrums and selfishness certainly frustrate and disappointment God more than Charlie ever could us...

Some recent fun...

Dying Eggs with Daddy

Our Little Rockstar

"I Survived Soccer" Party with Philip and friends

Tractor Rides with Carter

No hard hats at the table!

Resurrection Day

But on the first day of the week, at early dawn, they came to the tomb, bringing the spices which they had prepared.  And they found the stone rolled away from the tomb, but when they entered, they did not find the body of the Lord Jesus.  And it happened that while they were perplexed about this, behold, two men suddenly stood near them in dazzling apparel; and the women were terrified and bowed their faces to the ground, the men said to them, "Why do you seek the living One among the dead?  He is not here, but He has risen.  Remember how He spoke to you while He was still in Galilee, saying that the Son of Man must be delivered into the hands of sinful men and be crucified and the third day rise again?"
And they remembered His words and returned from the tomb and reported all these things to the eleven and to all the rest.  Now they were Mary Magdalene and Joanna and Mary the mother of James; also the other women with them were telling these things to the apostles.  And these words appeared to them as nonsense, and they would not believe them.
But Peter arose and ran to the tomb; stopping and looking in, he saw the linen wrappings only; and he went away to his home, marveling at that which had happened.

And behold, two of them were going that very day to a village named Emmaus, which was about seven miles from Jerusalem.  And they were conversing with each other about all these things which had taken place.  And it came about that while they were conversing and discussing, Jesus Himself approached and began traveling with them.  But their eyes were prevented from recognizing Him.
And He said to them, "What are these words that you are exchanging with one another as you are walking?"
And they stood still, looking sad.  And one of them, named Cleopas, answered and said to Him, "Are You the only one visiting Jerusalem and unaware of the things which have happened here in these days?"
And He said to them, "What things?"
And they said to Him, "The things about Jesus the Nazarene, who was a prophet mighty in deed and word in the sight of God and the people, and how the chief priests and our rulers delivered Him up to the sentence of death and crucified Him.  But we were hoping that it was He who was going to redeem Israel.  Indeed, besides all this, it is the third day since these things happened.  But also some women among us amazed us.  When they were at the tomb early in the morning and did not find His body, they came, saying that they had also seen a vision of angels who said that He was alive.  And some of those who were with us went to the tomb and found it just exactly as the women also had said; but Him they did not see."
And He said to them, "O foolish men and slow of heart to believe in all that the prophets have spoken!  Was it not necessary for the Christ to suffered these things and to enter into His glory?"
And beginning with Moses and with all the prophets, He explained to them the things concerning Himself and the Scriptures.  And they approached the village where they were going, and He acted as though He would go farther. 
And they urged Him, saying, "Stay with us, for it is getting toward evening, and the day is now nearly over."  And He went in to stay with them.
And it came about that when He reclined at the table with them, He took the bread and blessed it and breaking it, He began giving it to them.  And their eyes were opened and they recognized Him; and He vanished from their sight.
And they said to one another, "Were not our hearts burning within us while He was speaking to us on the road, while He was explaining the Scriptures to us?" 
And they arose that very hour and returned to Jerusalem and found gathered together the eleven and those who were with them, saying, "The Lord has really risen and has appeared to Simon."
And they began to relate their experience on the road and how He was recognized by them in the breaking of bread.

And while they were telling these things, He Himself stood in their midst.  But they were startled and frightened and thought that they were seeing a spirit.  And He said to them, "Why are you troubled and why do doubts arise in your hearts?  See My hands and My feet, that it is I Myself; touch Me and see, for a spirit does not have flesh and bones as you see that I have."  And when He said this, He showed them His hands and His feet.
And while they still could not believe it for joy and were marveling, He said to them, "Have you anything to eat?"  And they gave Him a piece of a broiled fish; and He took it and ate it before them.

Luke 24:1-43

Other References
Genesis 3:15
Deuteronomy 18:15
II Samuel 7:12-16
Isaiah 7:14
Isaiah 9:1
Isaiah 42:1
Isaiah 53:4
Daniel 7:13
Micah 5:2
Zechariah 9:9

Matthew 28:1-15
Mark 16:2-14
John 20:1-23
Acts 1:1-3

Saturday

Now on the next day, which is the one after the preparation, the chief priests and the Pharisees gathered together with Pilate, and said, "Sir, we remember that when He was still alive that deceiver said, 'After three days I am to rise again.' Therefore, give orders for the grave to be made secure until the third day, lest the disciples come and steal Him away and say to the people, 'He has risen from the dead,' and the last deception will be worse than the first."
Pilate said to them, "You have a guard; go, make it as secure as you know how."
And they went and made the grave secure, and along with the guard they set a seal on the stone.

Matthew 27:62-66


Other References
Daniel 6:17
Luke 23:56