This is it. In some ways today is the day we've been working towards your whole life: the first day of kindergarten. At the risk of sounding melodramatic (wonder where you get that), it truly is. Today is the day Daddy and I set you on a course of education and learning and growth in the hands of others who will help prepare you for the purposes God has for you.
And while I relate in so many ways to Hannah who waited and wept and prayed until she was finally blessed with Samuel, I do realize that dropping you off at James Island Christian School for 6 1/2 hours a day at age five does not compare with handing you over to a priest at age three. While she only got to see her sweet Samuel once a year, I get to whisk you off to a special treat with the first of your "Ice Cream Fund" from Grandma this very afternoon. Nevertheless, the fact that Hannah wanted and waited and hoped and celebrated as much or more than I have then survived the separation gives me great hope not only for today, but for the further distances you'll go over the next fifteen years and beyond... sleep overs, fishing trips, camps, mission trips, college, then who knows where. If Hannah could do it at age three in one fell swoop, I can do this.
Of course, even more helpful than the story of Hannah has to be your recent transformation from trepidation and uncertainty to pure excitement and joy at the prospect of kindergarten. You've gone from grilling me about why we're not homeschooling you and bemoaning the end of our "few good years together," to bouncing off the walls and practically wishing away your last day of summer in anticipation of today.
All that is not to say that I'm handling this particularly "well" as Daddy can attest -- I don't think he knew what to think when he came out of your room last night to find me weeping on the couch. Nor do I deny that I have tried to find work-arounds. I realized though that if God only stilled the sun for a day for Joshua and set it back 10 steps for Hezekiah, I didn't really have much of a chance of waking up in the wee hours of August 14, 2012 rather than August 14, 2014 as I secretly hoped.
Thankfully, though we have been tremendously blessed to find you a wonderful school full of administration and teachers who are committed to loving you and helping you become the man God created you to be. And amazingly they are open to all the "help" Mommy wants to provide, so if my volunteering and subbing plans come together you may not get the chance to miss me much at all (though I assure you Daddy will make me stop short "stalking"). In fact, I am so grateful for Mr. Schwartz and Mr. Philpott and Miss Cuthbert and everyone else we've met at JICS, that it almost makes up for the fact that I'm going to have to share you with them.
I promise to let you grow up if you promise to keep sharing every thought that crosses your mind as long as possible and let me smother you with love from time to time (I will try to keep the public displays to a minimum, though...and refrain from to many "Sweeties" and "Babies" within ear shot of your friends.) Deal?
Sweet Charlie, God has blessed Daddy and me in so very many ways throughout our whole lives, but without a doubt you are our favorite blessing. Since that July day back in 2008 when we first saw your little heartbeat you have been our delight. You are joy and laughter and wisdom and hope and silliness and truth, and we pray that as you learn and grow and mature you will "Choose Honor" (Romans 12:10) as the 2014-2015 school year theme will teach and share your light with everyone around you.
All my love,
Charlie's Mom
